~the stain~

clean sheets & a hot woman
a late summer breeze tickling through my beard
not sure what the former means anymore
is it sex or reality
has any human being ever actually experienced an orgasm

my amoeba brain doesn’t work anymore
it was short-circuited from the beginning
by angry Catholics & threatening Baptists
I was confused & mortified by my thoughts
at a very young age
certainly afraid of acting them out
totally absorbed by the notion that thinking was doing
guilty either way & no chance for redemption
condemned to burn in everlasting hell
for what I imagined doing with my mother
a black-hearted eleven year old child
I fucked my cousin’s teddy bear

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