A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: "Da-ad..."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad... I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water?"
"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!"
Five minutes later: "Daaaa-aaaad..."
"WHAT??!!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"
He who stands on toilet is high on pot. (Zedidiah James Sterner, author’s son)
We are an island
each of us afloat in a sea of infinity
wisdom being... perhaps
the pursuit of tranquility
(Tom (WordWulf) Sterner)
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"
In 1825, the first toilet was installed in the White House for John Quincy Adams.
When I am old
I am in need of two diapers
one to protect my head from the sun
the other to cushion my bony ass
(Tom (WordWulf) Sterner)
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't, dear," she said. "I have to sleep with Daddy."
Little voice: "The big sissy."
When they first started manufacturing toilet paper, the Scott Paper Co. did not put their name on the product because they were embarrassed to be selling it.
It is a sign of the times
& a voice of the ages
I hear speaking, I hear calling
on the tongue of the wind
through the open of my window
(Tom (WordWulf) Sterner)
A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice, "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you...."
The disease, Mono, is referred to as 'the kissing disease (mostly because that is how it is easily spread among adolescents).
A feather falling and a howling dog
a space between them
we have come to live
land of echoes, canyon, canyon
landing lightly, we learn to forgive
(Tom (WordWulf) Sterner)
It was that time during the Sunday morning service for "the children's sermon," and all the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said to her, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?"
The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
In 1901, New York became the first state to require the licensing of motor vehicles.
A Mother is a person
who makes a promise
and keeps it
(Tom (WordWulf) Sterner)
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."
Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
A person who has been fired from his/her job in the United States, is said to have been given the 'kiss-off.'
There are times when
everything need be set aside
hostility and sorrow must abide
with unobtrusive hearts we seize
instant memories, moments of peace
(Tom (WordWulf) Sterner)
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad... I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water?"
"I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!"
Five minutes later: "Daaaa-aaaad..."
"WHAT??!!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"
He who stands on toilet is high on pot. (Zedidiah James Sterner, author’s son)
We are an island
each of us afloat in a sea of infinity
wisdom being... perhaps
the pursuit of tranquility
(Tom (WordWulf) Sterner)
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"
In 1825, the first toilet was installed in the White House for John Quincy Adams.
When I am old
I am in need of two diapers
one to protect my head from the sun
the other to cushion my bony ass
(Tom (WordWulf) Sterner)
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't, dear," she said. "I have to sleep with Daddy."
Little voice: "The big sissy."
When they first started manufacturing toilet paper, the Scott Paper Co. did not put their name on the product because they were embarrassed to be selling it.
It is a sign of the times
& a voice of the ages
I hear speaking, I hear calling
on the tongue of the wind
through the open of my window
(Tom (WordWulf) Sterner)
A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice, "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you...."
The disease, Mono, is referred to as 'the kissing disease (mostly because that is how it is easily spread among adolescents).
A feather falling and a howling dog
a space between them
we have come to live
land of echoes, canyon, canyon
landing lightly, we learn to forgive
(Tom (WordWulf) Sterner)
It was that time during the Sunday morning service for "the children's sermon," and all the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said to her, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?"
The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
In 1901, New York became the first state to require the licensing of motor vehicles.
A Mother is a person
who makes a promise
and keeps it
(Tom (WordWulf) Sterner)
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."
Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
A person who has been fired from his/her job in the United States, is said to have been given the 'kiss-off.'
There are times when
everything need be set aside
hostility and sorrow must abide
with unobtrusive hearts we seize
instant memories, moments of peace
(Tom (WordWulf) Sterner)
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