Today, while cleaning the garage, a strange and interesting event occurred. A dust devil, mini tornado, danced up the driveway and across the cement floor. It wandered a bit in its to and fro sway, then dashed forward where it spent itself on the phat black and chrome body of my ol’ Hawg.
Being a man of voice whose mouth has learned to close, the better to listen to nuances of phantom messages, I settled myself in the dust of my new Friend. I contemplated kicking the ol’ Hawg to life, which deed was done before I knew it. Another specific and one-time event as she woke purring on the first stroke. Entranced, I backed ‘er out of the garage, pointed ‘er toward the street and let ‘er have ‘er head.
Rolling West, down Baseline Road, memory took a swipe at me. It dragged me back to the eighties, that same street and new boots, bearded brothers before me and roaring up from behind, the guitar man, Matthew, life-Friend at my side. Up the mountain we rode, to the wedding of Phil Howell to his beautiful Asian, silken-haired lady and their wind faces under the pines. The preacher looked smart in his dark clothes, his words of troth accompanied by the music of creaking leather, the cooling metal of iron horses and darting birds, curious in their singsong quick-eyed way.
Past Table Mesa Boulevard, traffic and Boulder lights fading behind, the road smooths out, single lane, an easy climb through the foothills. For the seasoned Colorado rider, a certain preparedness takes place. Hairpin curves, jackknives await, cool, tree-shadowed paths and startling, sun-splashed views. Motor and cam, heartbeat and blood, fuse in a shift, down shift, tap the brake and throttle forward fluid movement. Sunrise Amphitheater lies just ahead, around this blind curve or that, red stones surrounded by and punctuated by sturdy pine and scrabble bush. I leave my war-worn Hawg, my dragon, on ‘er stand and follow the steep path down.
Memory quick-trips me backward to the seventies and my brothers, before the prison in Canon City stole their hearts. We hauled our band gear up that ol’ mountain, carried amplifiers, guitars, drums, and generators down into the Sun Circle where we established ourselves on that side-o’-the-mountain open stage. I drank Seagram’s Seven, howled my lyrics and played my harmonica into the mountain air and white cloud sky. Boulder lay behind me, a sheer backdrop to a young man on the edge of time and certainly unaware of the audacity of his behavior. No permits, no appointments, just music and the poor-boy Sterner brothers, doin’ that thing they used to do. A group of Jewish People appeared later. Permit in hand, they advised us they had reserved this wondrous place for a very special wedding observance. We played a couple of our songs for ‘em while they performed a precise and circular tribal dance. They applauded our efforts and fed us, sent us back smiling to our West Denver homes.
A smile comes to me slowly, like Harry Chapin said, “It was a sad smile, just the same”. I light my second cigar of the day, feet planted on each side o’ the ol’ dragon, arms resting on her handlebar wings. A sparrow lands on my mirror, gives me a wink and flits away. I wonder its lineage, generations of mountain life past. Did its forbearers hear the poor boys’ noise, witness a certain binding of troth. I swear her stones are the same, each pine needle and chittering chipmunk. Sons born since have carried my music into a new age. It is theirs now and far different somehow. I remain unchanged like the face of Flagstaff. She knows what I might only guess. Time is on her side.
Cigar butt clenched tightly ‘tween my teeth, I give the ol’ War Horse a couple o’ kicks. She coughs and sputters to life. I tickle her throttle, glory in her growl and roar. A dust devil dervish giggles from the path, rises and kisses me on the cheek; how, the mountain, she speaks.
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undaunted & alive
nearer them Christmas
thoughts of my Children warm me
find me giving thanks (8952)
poetic device
inconsistent edge
impossible & defies clarification (9077)
knot narcissistic
listening to music
reading an epic novel
having written both
a compilation of lies,useless information, bad jokes&little poems
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
It costs about 3 cents to make a $1 bill.
intent of counterpoint
duelists in the dawn
portrait silhouette
baby is crying
A 6-year-old boy opened the family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the thin pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the bible. He picked the object up and looked at it. It was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. “Mom, look what I found,” he called out. “What have you got there?” she asked.
In an awe-struck voice, he answered, “I think it's Adam's underwear.”
Spiders never spin webs in or on
structures made of chestnut wood. That’s why so many tall European buildings were built with chestnut beams. Spider webs
on a 50-foot beamed ceiling are a pain to remove.
a city on the move
weeping of mountain
witless romantic
the emperor sighs
A 6-year-old girl had just finished her
first week of school. “I'm just wasting
my time Mom,” she said. “I can't read,
I can't write and they won't let me talk!”
The first Band-Aid Brand Adhesive Bandages were 3 inches wide and 18 inches long. You made your own bandage by cutting off as much as you needed.
legends of God-speak
thin binding flesh
Momma’s smoking a cigarette
laughter from the whiskey bar
a compilation of lies, useless information, bad jokes & little poems
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of car payments.
Ten thousand insects are required to feed a single toad during the course of a typical summer.
left and right crosses
requirements of requiem
asleep in the choir
voice deeper than stone
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
A sneeze travels at a speed of over 100 m.p.h.
let us taste his beans
the door of opportunity
three winds in a vacuum
outside waiting four more
Bills make it through the mail at twice
the speed of checks.
Quaaludes, the sex drug of choice during the disco era, were first developed to
fight malaria.
we were passed by Dilbert
a tin-can tuna melt
tryin’ to live in the hills
a writer of camp songs
A fool and his money are soon partying.
The world's largest amphibian is the giant salamander. It can grow up to 5 ft. long.
she has fish eyes
ducks swimming ‘cross the sky
each drawer wears a masque
alone in the room
A clear conscience is usually the sign
of a bad memory.
Mosquitoes are attracted to the color
blue twice as much as to any other color.
life is a cross ties
footstep on the moon
sadder than spilt water
funnel of mercy
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many
is known as research.
Ants stretch when they wake up. They
also appear to yawn like humans before taking up the tasks of the day.
she listens to voices
owls sleep in the afternoon
for a slice of white bread
dreams of the kill
a compilation of lies, useless information, bad jokes & little poems
I plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Captain Kangaroo, Bob Keeshan, was star of the first TV network kids’ show in the United States. CBS launched it in 1954.
decision to wear my motor
a free and separate passion
dizzying rain
dithery doo
The conscience is what hurts when all other parts feel good.
The human heart rests between beats. In the average lifetime of 70 years, the total resting time is estimated to be about 40 years.
unclear as stark light
a bug on the windscreen
this dream sequence
leggy bits of goo
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
It takes roughly 63,000 trees to make the newsprint for the average Sunday edition of The New York Times.
the cueing of partners
frazzle of thread bits
bananas on a plate
speaking of winter
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A crocodile can go through 2,000 to 3,000 teeth in a lifetime.
four times a dollar
quarters of century
ill spent years
praying for mother
Half the people you know are below average.
Each year, there are more than 40,000 toilet related injuries in the United States.
who will hold us up
robbers upon closing
death is a whip
nine bells down
Borrow money from pessimists.
They don't expect it back.
No president of the United States
was an only child.
prisoners of light
moth conspiracy
war men fan the flames
sense of dignity
While conducting a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, the policeman was interrupted by a 7-year-old girl. Staring at his uniform, she asked,
“Are you a cop?” “Yes,” he replied and continued writing his report. “My mother told me if I ever need help I should ask the police. Is that right?” “Yes,” he answered. “Okay then,” she said, extending her foot toward him, “Would
you please tie my shoe?”
The longest one syllable word in the English language is screeched.
fellow witnesses
all hail
bride of satan
to wings aspire
The guy was sitting in his living room having a beer when he heard a tiny
sound, tick, tick-tick. He got up and
went to the door, opened it up and
didn't see anything. The man returned
to his chair. No sooner had he gotten comfortable, he heard that aggravating sound again, tick, tick-tick. He got up
and opened the door again. This time
he looked more carefully and there at
his feet was a snail. He drew back
and kicked it as hard as he could.
Six months later the man was sitting in his living room having a beer, taking it easy. Tick, tick-tick. He jumped up and threw the door open. Sure enough, there was the snail. The snail said, "Why'd you do that?"
Singer Aretha Franklin is afraid of flying. She won’t travel on airplanes for concerts no matter where they are.
shallow aurora
shadow of eos
no time like now
some thing fishy swim
If everything seems to be going well, you’ve overlooked something.
Coprastasophobia is the fear of constipation.
I don’t understand you
thank you
your applause
might unearth me
When everything’s coming your way,
you're in the wrong lane.
Buttermilk does not contain any butter.
respite of tyrants
from mouths of babes
epithet
lullaby
Hard work pays off in the future.
Laziness pays off now.
A man’s brain is only 2 percent of his body weight, while a woman’s brain makes up 2.5 percent of her body weight, a full 25 percent more.
a mother to strangers
orphans of choice
voice of descent
six cubed down
a compilation of lies,useless information, bad jokes&little poems
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of asteroids"?
September is National Chicken Month.
above it all drifting
through droppings with
the dignity of a pigeon
& egg shell minded
Why do they have a tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
Mary had a Little Lamb was published Sept. 1st, 1830.
when I was a crow
I stole meals
from the talons of eagles
then flew away with dignity
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
The first volume of the Oxford English Dictionary was published in 1884.
crazier ‘n hell
the bolts are worked out
he can’t get rid of
the nuts are all he is
If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriental?
A ‘diglot’ is something or someone that uses two languages, or is bilingual.
youthful & engaging
wide-eyed she wonders
is spirituality part physical love
Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
The National Population Council estimates that 74 billion human beings have been born and died in the past 500,000 years.
sticks stones & ice
dark children are making
snow devils out there hiding in the yard
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Cockroaches sample food before it enters their mouths and learn not to eat foul-tasting poisons. They will eat wallpaper or TV cords and become cannibals if food is scarce.
there’s a white woman in the room
shampoo
you can’t judge speed from a distance
come on down
a compilation of lies,useless information, bad jokes&little poems
Is it possible to have a civil war?
In the middle-ages pepper was used for bartering. There were times it was more valuable and stable in value than gold.
box handle myth concept to grasp
there is more to a person than ears
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
Bayer was advertising cough medicine containing heroin in 1898.
one man upright
glowing in the shock glittering
hair static flow of microwave dust
If you ate both pasta and antipasto,
would you still be hungry?
A single share of Coca-Cola stock, purchased in 1919 when the company
went public would have been worth $92,500 in 1997.
that ugly dancing hog
was buried deep in the far sty of me
its shoes in my brain
If you try to fail, and succeed, which
have you done?
Arnold Schwarzenegger bought the first Hummer manufactured for civilian use in 1992. The vehicle weighed in at 6,300
lbs and was 7 feet wide.
nightshift marking horizon
a man shouldn’t have to work
witnessing sunrise
Whose cruel idea was it for the word
"Lisp" to have "S" in it?
A cat’s nose pad is ridged in a pattern
that is unique like a human fingerprint.
she’s a whimsical trip
through a flower garden
femininity
a compilation of lies,useless information, bad jokes&little poems
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Dancing to the "Star-Spangled Banner"
is against the law in several American states.
lovers midnight celestial walk
sweet music of kisses
out sprinkled amongst the stars
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines and on elevators
in parking garages?
Two pounds of soy flour contains about
the same amount of protein as five
pounds of meat.
observing sparrows
spirit wings guided
directed
carried on the winds of life
How do they get deer to cross the
road only at those yellow road signs?
Cobras can bite and kill as soon as they are born. 1 tablespoon of their venom, even when dried, can kill up to 165
people or more than 160,000 mice.
a noble plea for sacrosanct spaces
to be gifted a single original thought
What was the best thing
before sliced bread?
Each eye of the chameleon is
independent of the other. The lizard
can watch and study two totally
different images at the same time.
those are not angels
blighted horizon whose
halo sunrise makes
mortar glass & stone
One nice thing about egotists: they
don't talk about other people.
One year Elvis paid 91% of his
income to the IRS.
windowing rain-man
ten shades of simple
in his complicated way
& lost in himself
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
The Empire State Building
has 1,576 steps.
don’t call him darling
the midnight wanderer
turns out his pockets
wishes unafraid
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
In 17th-century Massachusetts, smoking was legal only at a distance of five miles from any town.
man looking back
in consideration
a reflection on mirrors
choosing of face
a compilation of lies,useless information, bad jokes&little poems
What do you do if you see an
endangered animal eating an
endangered plant?
A mother giraffe often gives birth
while standing. The newborn's first experience outside the womb is a
6 foot drop to the ground.
Union Pacific
since I was a boy
you’ve run those tracks
there & back smashing my pennies
If a parsley farmer is sued,
can they garnish his wages?
A minimum of 100,000 different
chemical reactions occur in the
normal human brain every second.
leaning toward trains
tied to the ground & foreign
any thought of wing
too heavy to fly
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
The historic notebooks in which Marie
and Pierre Curie recorded their
experiments on radium, nearly a
century ago, are still radioactive.
yellow/gold trees
October is a month of change
fall back the clock
& the summer’s gone blues
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
The first issue of "LIFE" magazine
debuted in 1936. Its cover showed a doctor slapping a baby on the butt. The caption read, "LIFE begins". The
magazine sold for 10 cents an issue.
one step past center
we are gifted when words
surpass the physical realm
& further touch
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it homeless or naked?
Adult turkeys have more than 3,500 feathers.
two thousand faces
thousand mirrors
water light glass
beautiful fluid imagery
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
With an estimated population of 40 million, there are more than twice as
many kangaroos as people in Australia.
sun-speak to eyes closed
a blessed Autumnal peace
breeze a breath of leaves
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